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Thursday, March 17, 2011

fabulous words from last night's book club

We are reading Peter Scazzero's THE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHURCH.
Principle 1: Look Beneath The Surface

Last night Heather's story to illustrate how the Gospel intersects with looking beneath the surface (pg. 81) truly ministered to me...

I love the Gospel. Before I really understood it, although I had been a Christian over ten years, I hid from my wretchedness, my defenses, my broken parts, even the abuse I suffered as a young girl. In fact, I was always in hiding - hiding my anger, jealousy, arrogance, conditional love, selfishness, brokenness, mistakes, weaknesses, and inadequacies. These things were unacceptable in the Christian circles I knew. I didn't think I would be liked or accepted if I was not strong and together. Who would then listen to me? I had to prove myself capable, strong, perfect and righteous.

In the past, when I had a hard time loving others, I would begin to despair. "I'm a Christian and I'm not able to do the very essence of Christianity," I'd lament. Then I realized I was depending on my self-righteousness to recommend myself to God's favor. I unconsciously had what people call the daisy mentality - "He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not" - based on how well I was doing in my spiritual life.

Through a study of Galatians, I received a fresh and powerful grasp of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I don't have to prove myself to anyone - which is how I was unconsciously living my life. I am perfectly loved and accepted by God because of Christ's life, death, and resurrection for me. I love knowing that I have nothing left to prove because I am valued, loved, and accepted by Jesus Christ. I can actually be free to be me. I can come out of hiding!

I am free to fail, to share my weaknesses and needs with others, to admit if I have a problem, to say "I don't know," to admit "I was wrong, please forgive me," to recognize that I don't have all the answers, and to relax and have fun, not thinking I have to take care of everyone else...

THAT CRANKS MY TRACTOR!!!

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